This post is for the person who is feeling a little nervous before wedding. We will cover the reasons why you may be nervous and also whether being nervous is a healthy emotion before your wedding.
The goal of Wedistry is to help reduce stress. We hope that by the time you are finished reading this blog post you will feel better about the way you feel.
The challenge for any bride and groom is that wedding planning and getting married present a unique set of circumstances with an unusual set of emotions. We rarely deal with these emotions at one time in our lives. Wedding planning is highly stressful on its own. When it’s our own wedding that we’re planning and we’re also thinking about making a lifetime commitment to our spouse we are actually handling multiple types of stress at one time.
What if you knew that it was perfectly normal to feel nervous before your wedding? What if you also knew that feeling nervous doesn’t mean that you love your spouse any less than if you were not nervous? And finally, what if you knew that being nervous before wedding is actually a good, healthy sign that could mean that you actually do love your spouse?
In short, being nervous before wedding does NOT make you a bad person. You may be nervous for all the right reasons like wanting your wedding to go well without interruption. You may be nervous before wedding because you want your guests to enjoy themselves. You may be nervous before wedding because you are thinking about the cost of your wedding. There may be several perfectly good reasons that you feel the way that you do.
Being nervous alone is not a cause for concern. It is a perfectly healthy human emotion that means that you are invested in what is taking place. It means that you are alive and that your heart is involved in what is happening. There may be other reasons to be concerned however being nervous alone is not one of them.
Reasons Why We Get Nervous Before Wedding
The Right Nervous
Remember that many events in our lives cause us to have good nerves. Remember your first time trying a new food, riding a roller coaster, or asking someone to be your friend? Remember your first vacation, first date, or first time driving? At some point we get used to getting nervous when we face new and exciting experiences but when it comes time to be nervous before wedding we feel guilty about how we feel. We talk ourselves into believing that because we are nervous about embarking on the unknown that means something about how we feel about the person. This is simply not true.
What to Watch
There are things that we can watch for to be concerned about these feelings such as not feeling prepared to marry the person or not feeling like we know the person intimately. These are reasons that our nervous feelings may be justified. Every couple should take the opportunity to prepare by attending pre-marital counseling to ensure that you truly believe that you are doing what is necessary to get ready to spend your life with this person.
The only real reason to be concerned is if for some reason you are not prepared to get married. But here’s the good news. You can set a plan for yourselves to ensure that the nervous before wedding feeling is not as much about the unknown as it is that feeling of hopeful expectation.
Have a Little Help from a Friend
One of the best things you can do is literally to keep your emotions in front of you leading up to your wedding. This is not a time to retreat and not share how you are feeling. You should keep a healthy conversation with the pastor who is performing your pre-marital counseling, of course with your spouse to be and with a trusted friend who knows you well.
These conversations will keep you grounded and help you to understand why you are feeling the way you do leading up to your wedding day. After all, you want to enjoy getting married. This is not just for your guests. This is one of the very few best days of your life.
A Plan for You
It’s important that your plan to handle your emotional outlook is custom tailored to you. The way that you will express how you feel, the people you speak with, and your plan do destress will not look like the next person’s. Be creative and stay engaged with the process of preparation and you will be happy that you made a plan just for you.
Hopefully by now you know that it’s ok to be nervous. But remember to keep talking about how you feel as often as you need to especially with your future spouse. Even on your wedding day.
The next step is to develop a plan that will help you to handle being nervous as your wedding day approaches.
Thank you for reading and we genuinely hope that you are feeling better about your special day!